Javelina Javelina

A song parody by my friend, John Barry

Javelina

Javelina, javelina, men can’t tame you—

you’re unlike Tramp’s Lady: sweet, domestic style.

You are loathsome, so we go gunning to game you—

so it’s javelina hunting. . .a “pig pile.”

You’re so wild—that’s why we hunt you, javelina.

But near we sashay, you ghostily depart.

You outscheme pursuers by one more schlep,

so they cry there; you don’t lie there

dead. A war whoop you squeal, javelina.

You are a bloated, grotesque, ugly scourge upstart.

You’re so wild—that’s why we hunt you, javelina.

But then on some days, you slyly go and start

to tag-team dog-walkers in a gore prep

and apply there tusks that pry, pare.

It’s a war cry they’ll squeal, javelina,

then run toward home, while flummoxed you watch them depart.

Original lyrics:

Mona lisa, mona lisa, men have named you
You're so like the lady with the mystic smile
Is it only 'cause you're lonely they have blamed you?
For that mona lisa strangeness in your smile?
Do you smile to tempt a lover, mona lisa?
Or is this your way to hide a broken heart?
Many dreams have been brought to your doorstep
They just lie there and they die there
Are you warm, are you real, mona lisa?
Or just a cold and lonely lovely work of art?

Do you smile to tempt a lover, mona lisa?
Or is this your way to hide a broken heart?
Many dreams have been brought to your doorstep
They just lie there and they die there
Are you warm, are you real, mona lisa?
Or just a cold and lonely lovely work of art?